from Ron Rose
June 30, 2008

Preparation

She came in complaining about my sermons always being about forgiveness and grace… I needed to come down harder on the sinners and in her words, ”nail them.”

After her rant, I asked, “So, you’ve got forgiveness and grace all worked out in your own life?

“Well, Ron, there are some things you can’t turn loose of, things that don’t deserve grace, or forgiveness. That’s just the way it is. I know it’s that way in my family.”

She leaned over my desk and revealed a heart hardened by resentment and bitterness, “No, forgiveness is not an option. I’ve been hurt too much.”

The grudge was too imbedded. And her spiritual life was powerless and trapped in the wilderness. Lack of forgiveness had turned in a critical, spirit of judgment.

She wanted me to make everyone else as miserable as she was… as long as she was in charge, of course.

A year later she left the church… looking for harder preaching.

On the other side of her story is Reginald Denny; remember him?

Years ago Reginald Denny drove his truck into the riots of South Central Los Angeles and the video cameras captured every detail of two men mashing his truck window with a brick, hauling him from the cab and beating him with a broken bottle and kicking him until the side of this face was caved in.

Then at the trial, in spite of protests from his own lawyers, Denny walked over to the mothers of the two defendants, hugged them and told them he forgave them. The mothers responded with hugs and tears.

How could he do that? One commentator stated, “Well you know, Denny did suffer some brain damage.”

Forgiveness doesn’t make sense, sometimes it just seems like nothing is more important that hanging on the grudge… sometimes “turning loose” is nothing but a slogan. But, then God steps in and a miracle happens… Turning loose becomes an experience.

Don’t forget three basics:
1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone what was done.
2. Forgiveness doesn’t depend on the other person’s apology. This experience of finding inner peace cannot be compelled or stopped by another.
3. Forgiveness is a gift for you… with it; your life is no longer controlled by what someone else has done. The weight of hurt and resentment and bitterness are released and are you are finally free.
God has forgiven… so what are you going to do?

Inspiration

It was 1990 when Robert Knighton escaped from a Missouri halfway house and went on a three state crime spree including a stop at Richard and Virginia Denney’s Oklahoma farmhouse. Richard offered directions, but Knighton overpowered the couple, killed them, and robbed the house. He got a total of $17.

Sue got the call from her brother. Her beloved Mother and Daddy had been found murdered in their own house. Sue was numbed by it all. They were old and poor, why would someone do this?

In the courtroom, Sue was confused about how she should feel. The room was filled with hate and they expected her to feel the same way… “But it didn’t feel good,” she said.

On the last day of the trial, Sue asked God to help her. And He did. She woke up realizing she had a choice, she could hate Knighton like the rest, or forgive him. “I chose to forgive; it was a message from God.”

While the jury was out for deliberation, Sue visited Knighton in the holding cell. For a while he refused to look at her. Then he said, “Why would anyone want to talk to me after what I have done?" Sue replied, "I don’t know what to say to you. But I want you to know that I don’t hate you. My grandmother always taught me not to use the word hate. She taught me that we are here to love one another. If you are guilty, I forgive you.”

People thought that Sue had lost her mind. Some refused to talk to her and her family didn’t understand how she could turn against them.

Up until Knighton’s death Sue continued to write him and encourage him. Then on the night of his execution, in a brief, almost inaudible final statement, Knighton thanked his attorneys and said he was sorry for what he had done had these words for Sue. "I'll see you again someday. God bless you," he said. She replied with a thumbs-up as the execution began.
Sue says, "There is no way to heal and get over the trauma without forgiveness. It’s not a slogan.

Motivation

Are you still holding grudges? Why? Is your faith trapped in the wilderness?

Is there a hidden, dusty corner of your mind that still harbors resentments and bitterness? Do you collect the painful moments and store them in the dark recesses, or do you release them and forgive.

What is it that keeps us from forgiving people… even the people closest too us?
Please share your forgiveness stories with me… The stories of forgiveness are some of the most inspirational ones… they force us to get out of the slogan world and into the world of experience and grace.